Heartbreak is one of the most challenging emotional experiences that nearly everyone faces at some point. Whether it’s the end of a long-term relationship or the disappointment of unrequited love, the emotional turmoil can be overwhelming.
Moving on from someone you love is not just about forgetting them but about rediscovering yourself and healing from within. This guide provides how to get over some practical and emotional support to help you get through this difficult time.
Understanding the Emotional Impact of Heartbreak
When someone you love is no longer part of your life, the emotional impact can be devastating. The loss can feel all-encompassing, leaving you overwhelmed by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and confusion.
It’s important to understand that these emotions are completely natural. Whether the relationship lasted for years or was only a fleeting connection, the feelings of grief can be profound.
Acknowledge your emotions without judgment. Suppressing your feelings can prolong the pain while accepting them is the first step toward healing.
Heartbreak is often compared to grief because it triggers similar emotional stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, eventually, acceptance. Knowing that you will experience highs and lows and that it’s part of the healing process can help you remain grounded.
How Long Does It Really Take to Get Over Someone?
One of the most common questions following a breakup is, “How long will it take to get over them?” The truth is, there is no set timeline. Everyone processes grief differently, and the time it takes to heal depends on various factors:
- The length of the relationship: The longer the relationship, the deeper the emotional ties, and often, the longer it takes to heal.
- The intensity of emotional connection: A relationship where deep emotional bonds were formed, such as first loves or soulmates, may take more time to move on from.
- The circumstances of the breakup: Breakups that are amicable may be easier to process compared to those that involve betrayal or conflict.
On average, it can take anywhere from a few months to over a year to fully recover. However, healing is not linear, you may feel better one day and worse the next. Over time, the intensity of the pain will subside as you begin to refocus your energy on yourself and your future.
How to Get Over Someone You Love? – Practical Steps to Help You Move On
Knowing how to take practical steps toward moving on can make the process more manageable. While no two breakups are the same, these steps are universally beneficial:
Give Yourself Time to Grieve the Relationship
Grief is not just reserved for the loss of a loved one through death; it applies to the end of relationships as well. Give yourself permission to mourn. It’s important not to rush this process.
Some people try to move on quickly without fully processing the pain, which can lead to unresolved feelings that linger. Instead, allow yourself to feel sadness, frustration, or anger. Grieving is a necessary part of letting go.
Limit or Cut Contact with Your Ex-Partner
One of the most important steps to moving on is creating emotional and physical distance from your ex. This might mean deleting their number, unfollowing them on social media, or even blocking them temporarily.
Staying in constant contact only serves to reopen old wounds and delays your healing. While some people may eventually move toward a friendship, it’s often healthier to take a complete break initially to allow yourself time to detach emotionally.
Avoid Idealising the Past Relationship
It’s common to look back on the relationship with rose-coloured glasses, focusing only on the good times and forgetting the reasons the relationship ended.
Romanticizing the past can make it harder to move on. Instead, try to maintain a balanced perspective, remembering both the positive and negative aspects of the relationship. Write down the reasons the relationship ended and revisit this list whenever you’re tempted to look back fondly.
Coping with Heartbreak and Emotional Pain
Healing from heartbreak takes time, but there are ways to cope with the emotional pain while you’re going through the process:
Focus on Self-Care and Rebuilding Your Life
When you’re heartbroken, self-care may seem like the last thing on your mind, but it’s crucial for recovery. Prioritize your physical and mental health by:
- Eating healthy foods that nourish your body
- Engaging in regular physical exercise, which releases endorphins and helps elevate your mood
- Practicing mindfulness or meditation to manage stress and anxiety
- Maintaining a routine that provides structure to your day
Rebuilding your life after a breakup starts with small acts of self-love. Take time to rediscover your passions and interests, which may have been put on hold during the relationship.
Rely on Your Support Network of Friends and Family
Heartbreak can feel isolating, but you’re not alone. Lean on your friends and family for support. Sometimes, talking to someone who knows you well can provide comfort and perspective. They can remind you of your strengths and help you process your emotions. If you find it difficult to open up, even spending time with loved ones can help break the cycle of negative thoughts.
Seek Professional Help if Necessary
If the emotional pain becomes too overwhelming, seeking help from a therapist or counsellor can make a significant difference. Therapy provides a safe space to explore your emotions and develop coping mechanisms.
Professionals can help you navigate through complicated feelings like anger, guilt, or sadness, and guide you toward a path of recovery.
How to Heal When the Love Was Unrequited?
Unrequited love, or loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way, presents a unique challenge. The pain can be just as intense, even if a formal relationship never existed. In these cases, it’s often the loss of potential that hurts the most. You may grieve for the life you imagined with that person rather than what actually occurred.
To heal, it’s crucial to accept that the relationship you hoped for wasn’t meant to be. While it’s natural to fantasize about “what could have been,” these thoughts often prevent you from moving on. Refocus your emotional energy on yourself, and remember that you deserve someone who loves and respects you in return.
Rebuilding Your Confidence and Sense of Self
After a breakup, it’s common to feel a loss of identity. You may have invested so much into the relationship that you’re unsure who you are outside of it. This is the perfect time to rediscover yourself:
Rediscover Your Passions and Hobbies
Revisit hobbies or interests that you may have set aside during the relationship. Whether it’s art, travel, music, or sports, indulging in activities that bring you joy can help you reconnect with your sense of self.
Doing things that make you happy will also boost your confidence and remind you that you can find fulfillment outside of a relationship.
Set New Goals for Your Future Personal Growth
Now is the time to focus on your personal development. Set goals that inspire and challenge you, whether they’re related to your career, fitness, or education. Having something to work toward can shift your focus from the past to the future and give you a sense of purpose and direction.
Learning to Embrace Independence and Self-Worth
Learning to be independent is one of the most empowering aspects of moving on. It allows you to understand your own worth and value, not based on your role in a relationship, but on who you are as an individual.
Once you truly embrace your independence, you’ll be less likely to fall into the same patterns that caused you emotional pain in the past.
Should You Stay Friends with Your Ex?
After a breakup, many people grapple with the idea of staying friends with their ex. While some exes successfully transition into friendship, for others, maintaining contact can complicate the healing process. Ask yourself if staying in touch will help you move forward or if it’s a way of holding on to the past.
Consider:
- The emotional distance needed: Are you capable of maintaining a platonic relationship without rekindling romantic feelings?
- Boundaries: Can both of you establish and respect boundaries, or will staying friends create tension and confusion?
- If maintaining a friendship is too difficult, it’s okay to take a step back and focus on yourself.
Handling the Urge to Reconnect or Check Up on Your Ex
One of the hardest parts of moving on is resisting the urge to check up on your ex, especially through social media. This form of “stalking” only prolongs the healing process. Seeing your ex move on or interpret their posts can trigger a flood of emotions, leading to feelings of jealousy, sadness, or frustration.
Set boundaries with yourself by:
- Unfollowing or muting your ex’s social media: This reduces the temptation to constantly check in on them.
- Redirecting your attention: Each time you feel the urge to check up on your ex, shift your focus to a productive activity that benefits your well-being.
Why Moving On Shows Strength, Not Weakness?
Many people associate moving on with giving up, but in reality, it’s a sign of strength. It takes courage to let go of someone you love and to choose your own well-being over the pain of holding onto a past relationship.
Moving on isn’t about forgetting the person or erasing the memories but about recognizing that the relationship no longer serves your growth. It’s a vital step toward emotional maturity and personal growth.
Conclusion
Heartbreak is undeniably painful, but it’s also an opportunity for growth. As you move forward, remember that this process is about rediscovering yourself, healing your heart, and preparing for a future that holds new possibilities.
Though it may feel impossible now, there is hope on the other side of heartbreak. With time, self-care, and support, you will come out stronger, more resilient, and ready to embrace the next chapter of your life.
FAQs
How can I accelerate my recovery after a breakup?
While healing is a gradual process, you can speed up your recovery by focusing on self-care, setting goals, and creating emotional distance from your ex. Practicing mindfulness and seeking support from friends and family can also help.
Is it normal to still love someone months after the breakup?
Yes, it’s normal. Love doesn’t disappear overnight. It’s important to allow yourself to grieve and gradually let go. Over time, those feelings will fade as you focus on yourself.
What are effective coping strategies for heartbreak?
Effective coping strategies include practicing self-care, engaging in activities you love, leaning on your support system, and seeking professional help if necessary. Avoiding contact with your ex can also help create emotional distance.
Is it possible to stay friends with an ex and still move on?
In some cases, yes. However, it’s crucial to evaluate whether staying friends is helping or hindering your healing process. If maintaining a friendship prevents you from moving forward, it may be best to take a break.
How do I know when I’ve truly let go of someone?
You’ll know you’ve truly let go when thinking about your ex no longer stirs strong emotions, and you’re able to focus on your future without being tied to the past.
Can dating someone new help me get over my ex?
While dating someone new can provide a temporary distraction, it’s essential to heal emotionally before entering a new relationship. Rebound relationships may offer short-term relief but can complicate the long-term healing process.
What are the signs that I’m emotionally recovering from a breakup?
Signs of emotional recovery include feeling less emotional when thinking about your ex, regaining your sense of independence, and finding joy in activities and relationships outside of the past relationship.